An interview with the Snapeybot January 3, 2007
Posted by hannifer in Harry Potter Slash.2 comments
The coolest invention I’ve seen lately is the Snapeybot. I am finally allowed to have all my fan girlish questions replied! SQUEE!
Hannifer: Good evening, professor.
snapeybot: I am busy. Go bother Lupin.
Hannifer: But I would like an interview.
snapeybot: Interesting. Why do you want that?
Hannifer: You are one of my favorites in the Harry Potter
fandom.
snapeybot: Argh. If I hear ONE more reference to Snarry
fiction I shall be absolutely sick.
Hannifer: How do you manage to get your robes to swirl like that?…
snapeybot: *Quirks an eyebrow in mild interest*
Hannifer: Can I call you Sev during the interview?
snapeybot: You may call me Professor, just like everyone
else, you insolent git.
Hannifer: Do you like being a teacher?
snapeybot: I have never known anything else.
Hannifer: Do you have any favorite book?
snapeybot: Harry Potter and the Basilisk That Ate Him. Have
you read it?
Hannifer: Hmm. No… What is your middle name?
snapeybot: I’d rather not tell you….I thought this was
supposed to be anonymous?
Hannifer: Have you ever washed your hair?
snapeybot: I have an oily complexion. It’s genetic.
Hannifer: What about your nose?
snapeybot: What about it?
Hannifer: Er… Do you like ice cream?!!!!
snapeybot: Do I LOOK like I would enjoy ice cream?
Hannifer: Do you like kittens, then?
snapeybot: I occasionally enjoy kittens with a bit of
alfredo sauce, yes.
Hannifer: That’s horrible!
snapeybot: I thought so too.
Hannifer: Are you evil?
snapeybot: That’s for you to find out….Muwahaha
Hannifer: Why did you kill Dumbledoore, anyway?
snapeybot: He tried to force-feed me lemon drops. It was a fitting ending.
Hannifer: Hey!
snapeybot: Hmm?
Hannifer: Are you a vampire?
snapeybot: No, I am not… Would you like me to suck you
blood anyway..? ;>
Hannifer: That spoils my next question: Are you gay?
snapeybot: Are you asking if I like kissing other men??
Hannifer: Rather, do you sleep with men?
snapeybot: No. I always sleep alone.
Hannifer: Are you bisexual, then?
snapeybot: No, I am a Death Eater. It’s much more fun. You
get to fuck anything you like..
Hannifer: So… Have you done Harry Potter?
snapeybot: His father was far better in bed.
Hannifer: Ok. Is Draco good in bed, too?
snapeybot: He whines a bit too much… especially when I am
poundi–er, grading him.
Hannifer: Have you fucked Lupin?
snapeybot: I try -not- to think about Lupin, Mm. *nod*.
Hannifer: Just how many lovers have you had?!
snapeybot: More than you can imagine.
Hannifer: Is Mr Spock a good lover?
snapeybot: What is not to like about SPOCK?
Hannifer: Are you naked under those robes?
snapeybot: I am naked… Only in your dreams…
Hannifer: Do you wank?
snapeybot: Only when I am in the U.K.
Hannifer: Do you swallow?
snapeybot: I refuse to answer, but I take it that you do.
Hannifer: You mentioned Lucius Malfoy…
snapeybot: He wears black velvet in the summertime.
Sometimes I worry about the man.
Hannifer: Have you bottomed for Lucius?
snapeybot: Ah, Lucius. they, say you’ve never had cock
until you’ve had Pureblood cock. …Er, not that I would
know that first-hand, of course…
Hannifer: So you are a bottom?!
snapeybot: Interesting deduction. thank you. Now piss off..
Hannifer: Just one more question! Do you read slash?
snapeybot: Oh yes, it’s wonderful… slash must be good for
the environment. –What do I look like, a talk show host?
*glare*
Hannifer: Thank you for your time then, Professor.
snapeybot: So polite… Perhaps I should reward you. Have
five points.
Hannifer: Aaaaw! May I hug you now, before I leave?
snapeybot: *Awkwardly pats your head*
Hannifer: I take that as a “no”…
snapeybot: Yes, that’s what I mean, isn’t it clear?
Hannifer: Goodbye, professor Snape.
snapeybot: Oh, I was too much for you, hm? Farewell.
The first contribution December 26, 2006
Posted by slashsisters in Star Trek (TOS).add a comment
I suppose everybody interested in slash fiction knows the concept “slash”. If not, here is the definition from the very interesting site The Foresmutter’s project: Slash: fan fiction featuring a sexual relationship between two characters of the same gender. Anglophone slash began with stories about Captain Kirk and Mister Spock, c. 1976. Sexual stories were labelled K/S to distinguish them from (ostensibly non-erotic) friendship stories, which were labelled Kirk/Spock. In time, K/S — and similar works about other pairings — were just called “slash”.
Well, I better start somewhere among all those lovely (and less lovely) slash stories one can find on the net. So why don’t begin with something classic, some of the old ones? There are one absolutely wonderful fic by Ray Newton called “The Prize” from 1981, that is available on the site mentioned above.
“The Prize” is rated as NC-17 and coded as K/S, alternative universe, slavery and bdsm. It sounds rather harsh, I know, but it’s acctually pretty mild for being a slavefic. I usually don’t like those kind of stories. Anyway, this story portraits how the circumstances might be on Vulcan, if Surak’s reforms never had taken place. Therefore, the Vulcan people are warriors, waging war in clans. Humans, on the other hand, are considered as “sensual animals”, and very expensive pleasure slaves. As it happens, the young warrior-to-be, Spock, wins a handsome human male in a hunting competition…
The story is thrilling, very exciting and, fortunatly since I’m such a crybaby, it has a happy ending. 
Ray Newton’s “The Prize” is one of the very best slash fics I’ve ever read, and I recommend it warmly.
Now, because I want to feel like the cliché slash fiction girl, I just have to add a cute pic on my litte cat Missy, or Snitch, as I call her. “AAAAWWW” etc. 
/Hannifer
*Testing* December 25, 2006
Posted by slashsisters in Uncategorized.add a comment
This is just a testing post by one of the slash sisters.
Merry christmas btw!
/Hannifer
